How to Meet New People in a New City

(Without Downloading Another App)

You moved. You unpacked. You found the good coffee spot. Now what?

Because here's the part nobody warns you about: making friends as an adult in a new city is awkward. Really awkward. You're surrounded by people, but you don't know any of them. Your calendar is wide open, but you have no one to fill it with. And the advice you keep getting - "just put yourself out there!" - is about as useful as telling someone who's lost to "just find the way."

So here's an actual, practical, non-cringy guide to meeting new people when you're starting from zero. From someone who's helped over 10,000 strangers connect across 30+ cities around the world.

Let's goooo!

1. Stop waiting until you "feel ready"

You will never feel ready. That's the trap. You'll tell yourself you'll go to that event next week, or once you're more settled, or after you've found your favorite gym. Meanwhile, weeks become months, and you're still watching Netflix alone on a Friday.

The secret? Just go before you're ready. The discomfort is the entry fee. And it passes faster than you think.

2. Go where the structure is

Here's the difference between a good social experience and a bad one: structure.

Walking into a random bar alone? No structure. You're just standing there with a drink hoping someone talks to you. That's not socializing. That's suffering.

What works is going to events where the format does the heavy lifting. A few that actually work:

Guided conversation events - like Fuck the Small Talk, where a trained host takes a room full of strangers through conversation rounds using fun, unexpected questions. No networking. No small talk. Runs in 30+ cities worldwide, and most peopple come alone. Timeleft is another option: they match you with strangers for dinner at a restaurant using an algorithm. Different vibe, but same idea: strangers meeting on purpose.

F*ck the Small Talk, Medellin (by Epic Llama)

Run clubs - they've exploded in the last couple of years and for good reason. You show up, you run, you talk while running. Parkrun is free and global. Most cities also have smaller crews on Instagram.

Coworking sessions - if you work remotely, structured coworking beats sitting alone at a cafe. We run Get Shit Done for this exact reason, but there are also communities like Caveday and Focusmate.

Language exchanges - Tandem meetups, MundoLingo, or local conversation groups. You bond fast when you're both fumbling through broken Spanish.

Group classes - cooking, pottery, improv, life drawing. Anything where you're doing something with your hands while talking to strangers.

The key: pick something with a built-in format. The activity creates the connection, not the other way around.

3. Say yes to the weird stuff

The pottery class. The improv workshop. The rejection therapy challenge. The silent disco walk. The breathwork circle. The board game night at someone's apartment you found on Meetup.

Your instinct will be to stick to things you already know. But familiar activities attract familiar energy. The weird stuff attracts the interesting people. And interesting people are the ones who become real friends.

Bumble BFF exists if you want to swipe for friends. Meetup is clunky but still works for finding niche groups. Facebook Groups are underrated for local communities. And apps like Partiful and Luma are where the cooler, more curated events tend to live now.

Some of the best friendships I've seen form at our events started because two strangers bonded over an absurd question like "What's your most controversial food opinion?" Not "Where are you from?" and "What do you do?"

Get out of the comfortable. That's where the magic is. Seriously.

Playground for Adults, Berlin (by Epic Llama)

4. Go alone (seriously)

This one scares people, but it's the unlock.

When you show up with a friend, you default to talking to your friend. You're in a little bubble, and strangers don't want to interrupt it. But when you show up alone, you're open. You're approachable. And - here's the kicker - so is everyone else who came alone.

Solo attendees are the most engaged, the most open, and the most likely to make new friends. We see this at every single event we run. The people who come alone leave with the most connections.

5. Don't try to make 10 friends. Try to make one. (avoid FOMO)

The pressure to "build a social circle" is paralyzing. So don't do that. Just try to meet one person you like. One good conversation. One person you'd text afterward.

That's it. One becomes two. Two becomes a group text. A group text becomes Friday plans. Friendships don't happen in bulk. They happen one at a time. We always tell people you won’t be able to talk to everyone - and that’s mostly true for all events. (unless it’s speed dating/friending but no thanks)

6. Follow up (this is where most people fail)

You had a great conversation. You vibed. You said "we should totally hang out!" And then... nothing. Because following up feels vulnerable. What if they don't reply? What if it's weird?

what not to do ^

It's not weird. It's how friendships are made. Send the text. Suggest something specific. "Hey, want to grab coffee Thursday?" beats "Let's hang sometime!" every time.

The people who make friends fastest in new cities aren't the most charismatic. They're the ones who follow up. If you want a seat at the table, host the dinner!

7. Give it time (but not too much time)

Real friendships take months, not days. Research says it takes roughly 50 hours of interaction to go from acquaintance to friend. That's a lot of coffee.

But the flip side: if you're not actively meeting people within your first few weeks in a new city, the window gets harder. Not impossible. Just harder. The energy and openness you feel when everything is new? Use it. Don't wait.

8. Find your recurring thing

One-off events are fun. But the real friendships form when you keep showing up to the same place, with the same people, over time. A weekly run club. A monthly book club. A coworking group.

Get Shit Done (focused/fun coworking by Epic Llama)

Repetition builds familiarity. Familiarity builds trust. Trust builds friendship. It's not complicated. It's just consistent.

At Epic Llama, we see this all the time. The people who come to their second, third, and fourth Fuck the Small Talk don't just meet strangers anymore. They start recognizing faces. They build a crew. The event becomes the excuse, and the friendships become the point.

9. Lower your standards (temporarily)

Not for the friendship itself. But for the first interaction. You don't need to find your soulmate best friend on night one. You just need to have a decent conversation with a human who isn't terrible.

The bar for a good first interaction is: "That was easier than I thought. And I'm glad I went."

That's it. That's the bar. And once you clear it, the rest gets so much easier.

The bottom line

Meeting new people in a new city isn't about being extroverted or confident or charismatic. It's about showing up, going where the structure is, and being willing to feel slightly uncomfortable for about 20 minutes until you realize everyone else is feeling the exact same thing.

You're not the only one who's new. You're not the only one who's lonely. And you're not the only one who wants something deeper than "So, where are you from?"

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Epic Llama designs social experiences that help adults meet new people in 30+ cities worldwide. Our flagship event, Fuck the Small Talk, is a guided conversation experience where strangers skip the small talk and connect through fun, meaningful questions. Find an event near you at epicllama.com/next-events.